Ahh...The Memories

I went shopping with the family today in a town we don't normally go to and whilst on the escalator going up to the children's section of a famous clothes store, passed the very first headmaster of my teaching going down the other escalator. He didn't recognise me, although his wife did as she was a teacher there.

The story is not one that will get me on the after-dinner speaking circuit but it did get me thinking about that school, and one story in particular about a boy, we shall call him Liam, in my tutor group.

Liam was reasonably bright although not one to trouble the dons at Oxford or Cambridge. He was in the sports teams based mainly on his gift for talking up his own game rather than any special talent, and he was popular due to the fact that he was the "class clown" - one of those people you found it difficult to get angry at but a nightmare to have in class.

I had heard on the grapevine that Liam had developed a trick during lessons that seemed to be amusing those who were in the same classes as him. Liam would borrow a pencil from someone, put it down his trousers and then pass it around for other to sniff. Disgusting - yes, but I had no proof of him actually doing anything, so I couldn't actually do very much. I had no idea how to broach the subject at all, so decided to make the following announcement in the next morning's briefing to the whole staff:

"Liam in my form group has his own special pencil case by all accounts. You'll know what I'm talking about if you catch him."

I left it at that much to the bemusement of my colleagues, who kept asking me what I was on about. I refused to tell them, saying that if he utilised this private pencil case, all would be revealed, as it were.

A few days passed when one break time an RE teacher came running up to me and said very excitedly "I know what you mean - he did it in my lesson!"

I asked exactly what had happened and sure enough, Liam had done his pencil trick. Liam got a talking to from the head of year (that's what they are paid for after all) and presumably developed a different, and less  trick, as he was never one to be away from the limelight for long.

The story went down in folklore at the school, and still makes me laugh today.