Why I Dislike Most Ofsted Inspectors...

Ofsted is a beast that has grown beyond comprehension; they now essentially run education under the leadership of Sir Michael Wilshaw (despite claims of independence from the DfE). All the ignorant ministers think he's wonderful, the media love him because he gives them soundbites that slate teachers (the media really like slating teachers, in case you hadn't noticed) which he later tries to claim have been taken out of context. Teachers, in general, however, can't stand the bloke nor his inspectorate.

Few people actually like or agree with those who judge them, other than those who require a wet wipe for the end of their nose, but Ofsted not only take a biscuit, but arguably the whole packet.

What really gets me about Wilshaw (and the same goes for his mob, sorry, inspectors) is that he's quite clearly forgotten what it's like to be a classroom teacher. He makes statements about "moaning teachers" (here's the BBC link). but neglects to consider that perhaps his seemingly continuous gripes in the media about teachers possibly leads to the "moaning". He became a headteacher at the age of 39, and is nearly 70 now, so it's fair to say that he has had little recent classroom experience.

I know that I'm supposed to be talking about Ofsted inspectors and have spent wordage so far on Wilshaw alone, but he is their leader. Let's face it, the minions follow their leader, and the problem is that I wouldn't urinate on the leader if he spontaneously combusted. That aside, he actually has the right idea at heart: he wants all children to have the best opportunity to fulfil their potential, and no-one (not even me) can argue with that. The methods he employs to impose this, however, are questionable.

So if Wilshaw's so great, why do his minions constantly ignore him? He has said for a while now that he doesn't have a particular lesson style in mind as long as the children learn and progress at a fast rate. Fair enough; most teachers know that. Unfortunately, many inspectors don't (see the blog Scenes From The Battleground for more info) and they expect to see the teacher not teach - group work/discovery etc. Wilshaw is quite clearly a poor leader if he can't get his message across; I shall be struck down for besmirching the good Sir Michael's name!

And so onto my main gripe: Ofsted are very keen on data and contain a huge proportion of failed classroom practitioners (don't believe the "we only employ top quality headteachers" rubbish). Please bear in mind that many failed in the classroom in days gone by, when discipline was a whole lot easier. No, I don't mean that you could cane the poo out of a child who misbehaved back then, although Sir Mike did admit to doing so. I mean that parents' views hadn't been tainted by an acidic media, meaning that now loads of them believe teachers are the spawn of Satan (perhaps they're right in some cases, judging by the abuse cases that seem to be mounting up) and fair game for verbal abuse.

Ofsted hold so much power nowadays that a pretty average inspector (one with little or no track record, and there are plenty) can essentially decide the fate of a school on a whim. We live in a time where anything Ofsted say, goes; if Ofsted wanted winter to be summer, then so be it - they would manipulate data to show that it would be beneficial, believe-you-me. So if the headteacher manages to annoy an inspector early on (I have experienced this), then there really is no point in trying because the outcome has already been determined. Inspectors know this, and in some cases, play on it. Professionalism isn't part of the equation; "I'm going to show you who's boss" is.

I also have a problem with the fact that Ofsted only recruit "outstanding" teachers or headteachers. If the people they are recruiting are that good, why the hell are they wasting their time judging sub-standard practitioners (it's all relative) when they could be getting the UK up the Pisa league tables? They clearly either dislike teaching (so shouldn't be involved in education at all) or are rubbish teachers (so shouldn't be inspectors). Either way, neither is desirable or employable.

That's why I can't stand Ofsted inspectors; and that's why I am rude to them at every given opportunity. If you ever wanted to see "poacher turned gamekeeper" personified, just glance at an Ofsted inspector and stifle the urge to vomit over them. It's a waste of good vomit after all.